Sexual Communication is a Skill We Must Learn to Heal the World

Sex continues to be a taboo subject for many Americans, as well as for many all over the world.

We rarely talk to our family members about our sex lives. Even our closest friends aren’t usually privy to our sexual daily lives because it feels too intimate to share with others.

The bigger problem though is when we can’t even talk to our sex partner about sex. As Justin Lehmiller states in his book “Tell Me What You Want” (2018):

American couples have great discomfort talking about sex in general, even when it involves things that both partners are likely to enjoy. That’s just sad.

As a certified sex therapist and counselor, I notice a lot of people struggling with sexual issues of all kinds and in all types of relationships — dating, short- and long-term marriages, and single. Most people don’t seem to have any language for speaking about sex with me, and especially with their partner. They’re lost. Even when I suggest they talk about what they like, don’t like, might enjoy, and especially what they find pleasurable. “OMG! No Way.” People can usually speak about what they find uncomfortable, disgusting or gross when it comes to sex — and talking about sex — but it’s all through a negativity bias.

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