sex
“Pleasure Is the Measure”: When Women Speak Up About Pleasure
Emily Nagoski’s phrase “pleasure is the measure” is such a simple reminder and it’s a total game changer. Instead of focusing on whether sex follows the “right” sequence or looks like what you’ve seen in media, it centers the only thing that actually matters: Does it feel good for the people involved? When pleasure becomes the measure, sex…
Read MoreWhy Opening a Marriage Takes More Than Permission
Lately, more couples are talking about open marriage—not just as a fantasy, but as a real possibility. We are living in a different day in age and the idea of expanding love, desire, and connection outside a primary partnership has moved from whispers to podcasts and dinner-table debates. And yet, for every story of freedom…
Read MoreSelf-sex is good for you…really
And, there’s even research to back it up. Self-sex is just a nice way of saying masturbation. And, yes…I am definitely saying that masturbation is healthy. It’s good for your overall health, boosts your sex life, helps your partner, improves both mind and body. Good for your overall health Orgasms are just plain good for your…
Read MoreSexual Performance Anxiety
It’s not just a guy thing…it happens to women too. We most often think of erectile disfunction when we conceptualize sexual performance anxiety. However, most people don’t realize that some women have a version of performance anxiety as well, though it presents differently. This idea came to me as I was listening to the Savage Lovecast episode…
Read MoreBetter Ways to Initiate Sex
Usually, it’s not quite enough just to say, “Hey, do you want to… *wink*wink?” What are some good ways to initiate some sexy time with your partner? As a sex therapist, I hear from so many women who share that their husbands or boyfriends don’t know how to initiate sex well, for them. It seems…
Read MoreEver Have a Dream About Your Ex?
Dream interpretation is a fascinating area of study and just plain fun. Some dreams can be powerful, healing and insightful. Some dreams may include messages to help you heal or move forward in life. They often help you focus inward and build introspection. Other dreams may just be dreams and either you don’t really even…
Read MoreAsking for Help Can Make Your Sex Life Better
For relationships to become true partnerships, we all need to learn how to let our partner(s) know what we’re thinking…they can’t read our minds. We need to be more open and curious. Ask more questions. Ask for help. This concept isn’t gendered. I work with many men, women, non-binary and transgender folks and they all…
Read MoreCOVID19 Helps Some With Sexual Creativity
Dan Savage started incorporating a new positive sex or quarantine (pronounced like Valentine) story at the top of each Savage Lovecast episode, and I love them all. This week (episode #721) he received a story from a woman meeting a man for a second date at the beach. They discussed the idea of going snorkeling at dusk…
Read MoreSexual Communication is a Skill We Must Learn to Heal the World
Sex continues to be a taboo subject for many Americans, as well as for many all over the world. We rarely talk to our family members about our sex lives. Even our closest friends aren’t usually privy to our sexual daily lives because it feels too intimate to share with others. The bigger problem though…
Read MoreWhen To Consider Seeing a Sex Therapist
What makes a certified sex therapist different than any other kind of therapist? It really comes down to an acknowledgment of the importance of sex in our lives and relationships, the ability to talk about sex in sessions, and continued education. Sex therapists make clients feel at ease when sharing concerns they have around sexual…
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